36 weeks. almost

Laying here. In bed. It hurts less this way. I feel bad not going 2 work, but it hurts 2 bad 2 sit there for hours, the baby is extremly low, and the dr thinks I have a hernia or pulled scar tissue from my past csection. I wanted 2 go on maternity leave this time. I had so many plans! So much 2 do, so many people 2 see. But now I'm stuck @ home. Can barely get up 2 make dinner and do the dishes. I'm trying 2 get a couple things done everyday. Mike loves that I'm home. I'm sure he won't when I don't get paid next week though. :( riley loves it 2. The quality family time is nice though. In baby terms. I'm huge, and so different then riley, more all around baby then with riley he was all out front and low. This baby is high. Had a bad dream last night, about having a baby boy, who was weeks old and I didn't seem connected 2 him. That scares me a little and made me think all day, of course in the same dream I was running! Yes running with officers, like I was in the academy, like that will ever happen! So who knows. Talked 2 god last night, made a deal of sorts, I woke up 2 find out I lost, for the first time, not that I even know if god tech agreed to the deal, so who knows if it even counted. Lol. I have been thinking 2 much, about everything lately, but what else is there 2 do really. But think, and wonder about the past, the present and the future. Being thankful for what I have, regretting things I did, and despising things that were done 2 me, but things I can't change so I guess it doesn't really matter. Maybe tomorrow will be better, :) we did easter eggs tonight! That was fun, one thing I look forward 2 every year. :) those r the moments, the times that I am happy, without thinking, just happy. :) I love watching riley, grow up, and put his personality into everything he does. And see. The things he gets from me, and michael. I am blessed. Everyday. :)